Letting Go and Passing On
by justareader13
Summary: Queen Guinevere is dying and she and Merlin are brought back to the spot where Arthur was last laid to rest as well. Warnings: Major character death. Merwen friendship/interaction. Arwen reunion/endgame. NOW WITH BONUS CHAPTER
1. Death of a Queen

**AN: This just popped into my head and started niggling at me for attention so I had to do it.**

**Warning: Some spoilers from 5x13**

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Queen Guinevere Pendragon stumbled along the grassy field struggling to keep herself upright on unsteady feet as she drew ever closer to the lake of Avalon. She hadn't been to this place since a week after her beloved Arthur's death when she and Merlin had brought Gwaine's body there and she managed to say goodbye to Arthur, that was little more than fifteen years ago, she swore she wouldn't be back until her time had come. The bleeding wound her hand covered on her stomach coincidentally (cruelly) was inflicted on her by the same blade that took her husband away from her during an attempt by a rather large and organized band of various bandits to take some of Camelot's outlying villages before working their way to the citadel (which they never would get to), outlying villages Gwen just so happened to be occupying at the time of the attack. They had somehow managed to acquire the wretched sword from Mordred's grave and now it would take her from her children, from her kingdom, from her friends but towards Arthur.

Gwen stumbled to the very edge of the lake where it met muddily to the shore and stopped, her blue silk dress stained in her blood and her long, black, curly hair billowed out and blew behind her slightly as the wind picked up a little. She looked over the picturesque scene, the place which would be the last thing she saw with mortal eyes. As beautiful as it was she wished the last thing she saw were her children's faces. Arthur had left her quite the present even in his death. She had found out she was pregnant two months after he had died and even that at first didn't pierce her consciousness, it wasn't until she was crying over the fact that the linens in her room were made orange instead of red that it finally sunk in. Three months after that she discovered it was twins and another three months later she very nearly died giving birth to Llacheu Pendragon and Azalea Pendragon, her reasons to stay alive as long as she did. She had but glanced on the two children and their parentage couldn't be denied as soon as anyone looked into their piercing, hypnotic blue eyes, their father's eyes. They had inherited their mother's curls in a lighter brown, almost dirty blonde shade and their father's mouth and nose, not to mention his snoring and heart of gold. At fifteen years old, Gwen knew that they would be well cared for, that she had given them all she could and she trusted the others to continue teaching them both and helping them grow.

Gwen felt her legs wobbling and growing ever unsteady as she lost more and more blood. She lowered herself gently to the ground, pulled her knees slightly up towards her chest and stared out at the water, her body feeling colder and heavier and number by the second. The pain was gone that was something at least. Gwen didn't look up as she heard footsteps rush up from behind her. If it was bandits come to follow her than they would just speed along the inevitable and if it was one of her friends than at least she would see one of them before she went to Arthur.

"Gwen! What are you doing? The water, get in!" Merlin shouted, getting closer and closer to his friend who didn't budge an inch at his words.

"Gwen?" He said moving to knees in front of her when he saw her shaking her head 'no'.

"It's no good Merlin." She explained weakly

"Gwen, you'll be better." Merlin replied, not understanding (rather not wanting to understand) what she meant

"I'm tired, Merlin. Aren't you? Aren't you just so… Do you know what it feels like to be so weary and heavy laden that you just want to sleep and never wake up? What am I talking about? Of course you know. I want to rest Merlin, I want to go now, I think it's time now." Gwen explained as best she could before she felt pain flare up from the wound causing her to double over. Merlin quickly moved behind her, holding her so her head lay on his arm and her body was across his lap, her eyes were halfway closed now.

"You're the strongest person I know Guinevere Pendragon, you have to fight." Merlin said, knowing he was fighting a losing battle but he had to try. This scene was just too reminiscent of one he'd been a part of fifteen years ago, one he tried so desperately hard to forget but to no avail.

"Merlin, my dear old friend, I've been getting by on a mother's love for her children, a sense of duty to the kingdom that Arthur would've built and willpower… mostly yours. Even the strongest reach their breaking point sometimes, I'm sorry to say. I reached mine ages ago, when Arthur died, I fear I've been going through the motions all these years even when I didn't realize it."

"What about Llacheu and Azalea?" Merlin argued back.

"I love them with a love I thought my heart no longer capable of when I lost Arthur. You must tell them that they were my heart and soul, they were what kept me alive, my heart… it had beat for them and only them. They must not grieve too long, I'm going to be with their father, Arthur and I will be together again and they should take comfort in this... Tell them I'm sorry, I know what a burden I was to them—"

"Gwen, you're not a burden." Merlin said fiercely back, his eyes filling with tears as he realized she was speaking of herself in the past tense

"I know they saw my sadness and grief even when I tried to conceal it from them and that it only added to their own. It must have been a heavy thing for them, to bear such grief upon their young shoulders for a man they never got the chance to meet, for the father snatched away from them. I want them to know they were loved so unconditionally, I want them to always follow their hearts and trust where it will lead them even if the path seems unconventional to some. Tell them to listen to the council of others … within reason, trust in each other, behave and I'll always be with them." Gwen said, coughing a little before continuing. She needed to get this out.

"I want you to give my love and apologies to Percival and Leon, my knights." Gwen said wistfully

"Tell them I have valued their friendship and their council over the years and that they helped keep me alive for as long as I was. I want you to give the royal seal to Leon. He and Mithian will rule in my stead until Llacheu is of age." Gwen said, reaching frailly towards the ring that never fit her attached to a cord around her neck. Merlin reached up and took the ring off himself

"I also want them to watch over Llacheu and Azalea, as their guardians. They will continue to teach them how to rule a kingdom, they need that. Tell Mithian, Elena and Sefa I have cherished their friendship over the years and they always brought light to the darkness they saw raging inside me. I thank them and love them like sisters for remaining by my side and helping through the difficult times." Gwen turned her head more towards Merlin

"And you. You: my dear, dear Merlin. How you have been a friend to me, simple words can never repay the debt of gratitude I owe you."

"You never owed me Gwen. I always told you that. The fact that you lifted the band on magic was more than enough thanks." Merlin managed to choke out between restrained sobs

"That was duty to you as Queen who needed to thank the man who helped save many lives during the Battle of Camlann but as your friend… I can never repay you for the many ordeals you've seen me through. I can only thank you for all you have done for me, for Arthur, for Llacheu, for Azalea and for Camelot… you are my… best friend, I love you Merlin and I know that… one day I shall see you again… and that… will be a happy day. A very happy day indeed. Goodbye Emrys." Gwen bids before her barely open eyes slide shut. Merlin holds her for a while but he feels her breathing slowing down. He can feel her heart stuttering, stopping briefly before beating again the muscle showing the willpower he knows is in Guinevere even though she says she can't access it anymore but apparently she was more accurate than he wanted to admit because the beats began to laze and lapse and become few and far in between until it didn't resound again, the Queen was dead. Merlin looked down at Gwen's body and felt tears pouring down his cheeks and just like the last time he sat with his best friend lying dead in his arms he reared his head back and roared to the sky in dragon tongue, beckoning the dragon to him but this time it wasn't Kilgharrah he called, as his old mentor along with his other mentor Gaius was now dead, he called to Aithusa and the white dragon who was now fully grown came swooping down seconds later.

Merlin had done what he could with the dragon. He along with, surprisingly, Sefa had managed to gain the dragon's trust and loyalty and healed her as best they could, not only physically from the contortion she suffered as a result of two years trapped in a well, but also from the darkness Sarrum and Morgana planted in her. She had grown quite the affinity to Gwen, who though reluctant at first had grown an affection for the dragon right back. Aithusa looked at Gwen's body and Merlin's expression and sighed, bowing her head in respect and grief for the fallen sovereign who was her friend before turning to her Dragonlord.

"Why have you summoned me to this place Emrys?" Aithusa asked him in a heavy voice

"As you can see the Queen has fallen, what do I do now?"

"Kilgharrah told you of the legend created from the lives of you, the Once and Future King and your friends and enemies. Guinevere is the Once and Future Queen, she must remain by Arthur's side always. Arthur needs both you and her to reach his full potential, you have always known that. Kilgharrah very much so ignored this, he didn't understand human emotions very much, but theirs is a love that has transcended boundaries and laws and it will be one to transcend both time and space. You must send her into Avalon the same way you did the King, return her to him once more Emrys. The king and queen must always remain together. Time may vary the legend of Guinevere much, Emrys, she may not always be painted in a light befitting her greatness but you know her heart just like you knew Arthur's. Remember it, remember them." Aithusa advised gently before flying away.

Merlin looked up just as a boat drifted to the shore of its own accord. He knew he had to return Gwen to Arthur, he would remember her heart, he'd remember her always. He casted a spell on the boat and watched in satisfaction as the boat filled with various small white wild flowers, lavender and lilies: Gwen's favorite flowers. He picked her up and placed her in the bed of leaves and brushed a stray black curl from her face, she never seemed to age a day on the outside but he knew inside she was decades older than she should've been, her heart simply couldn't take the ache anymore and was running on inertia for her kids' sake but she felt them ready to go on without her now so she let go.

Merlin didn't have to utter a phrase as whatever force that sent the boat to them, took Guinevere back towards the isle shrouded in white fog, he'd like to think it was Arthur taking her away. He watched her get shrouded in the fog as well until a white light beamed to sky clearing the storm clouds that had rolled in and giving way to blue skies, the fog began to dissipate as well and soon the beam went away. When he looked back down Gwen's boat was nowhere in sight, it had disappeared as well and he knew she was in good hands, she was with her husband again.

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The place she was in was magnificent. Everything around her was in bloom, the sky was the bluest blue and the lake that she could clearly see from her vantage point reflected that pure blue. She looked down at herself and saw she was wearing a pure white dress that swept along the fertile grass and wild flowers and fit her perfectly.

"Guinevere." She heard a warm, inviting oh-so-familiar voice say in that way that made the word sound like less of a name and more of a caress and her face broke out in a smile as she turned to face her husband

"Arthur." She replied she with clear relief and joy in her voice, he stood in front of her looking the same as he always did except he was dressed in all white with no shoes on (but then again she had no shoes on either, she couldn't bring herself to care). He held out his hand to her and a grin broke out on his lips that no doubt matched hers. They grasped hands and looked deeply into each other's eyes happily

"I've waited quite a bit for you." He said breaking the silence

"Well, you need not wait any longer my love." She said, reaching up onto her toes and pressing her lips to his to which he responded in kind. Yes, he knew there would come a time when he had to rise up and fight for Albion but for now he was going to enjoy the afterlife with his wife and hopeful one day his children.

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**AN: Llacheu is actually the name of one of the sons of Arthurian Arthur, I liked the name that's the one I chose it and as for Azalea, I just really like the name BTW Azalea is a beautiful flowering shrub. **


	2. Crowning of a Queen

**AN: Decided to do a bonus chapter **

**Warning: Some spoilers from 5x13**

**BTW: Azalea is the new story photo.**

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Azalea Pendragon stood looking at the ornate oak doors which soon would open and change her future forever. At twenty-one years old and now of age she was set to become the Queen of Camelot. On the outside she looked mostly like any other bright eyed youth nervously and reluctantly taking charge of a kingdom but inside she felt at least three times her age, the grief from her losses weighed on her shoulders and if she let it, sometimes it permeated the air around her giving it a bitter taste.

She felt the blunt blows of regret from the fact that she never got to meet Sirs Elyan, Gwaine and Lancelot who would have been as uncles to her or Tom who would've been the grandfather that taught her to mold anything from metal.

She felt the sharp talons of anger and loathing but also pity and sadness for Morgana and Uther Pendragon, the aunt and grandfather who both betrayed and destroyed their family at various points in time because of their hatred for who the other fundamentally was all the while not realizing or acknowledging that they were more alike than either wanted to admit.

She felt the harsh slap of longing and grief and, at times, despondence for the father snatched away from her before he even knew of his children's existence. She was told many things about him over the years: she learned about Arthur the knight, Arthur the prince, Arthur the king, Arthur the husband and Arthur the friend but she would never know Arthur the father, not in this life anyway. That fact, the fact that the only physical reference of him that she has is a painting, can still reduce her to tears.

She was rendered despondent again when dear old Gaius died when she and her brother were ten. She supposed she should've been prepared for that, what with how old he was but he was like a grandfather to her and it was the first real loss she experienced of someone who was a fixture in her life and then one day just wasn't there anymore.

She felt shadowed waves of happiness when her mother died. She was, of course, sad and she still is she can't bear to walk into her mother's bedroom and it's a challenge walking around the castle and not seeing constant reminders of her mother everywhere. At the same time, Azalea felt that her mother's death was a long time coming. She was always a sad being, Guinevere Pendragon, and her children knew it wasn't always so but even when the Queen smiled it was tinged with sadness and grief for her husband and her brother as well as her parents and her friends. Llacheu and Azalea had been prepared for the day their mother quit fighting since they were five years old. It surprised them that she held out for fifteen years but she did it for them and they knew it. She loved them and they loved her, the three were always very affectionate to each other and tight knit and when they lost their mother Llacheu and Azalea only grew closer.

Nothing could have prepared her for his death, nothing at all. The death of Llacheu Pendragon was a painful affair that Azalea knew nothing about until she came home only to be told he was on his death bed. She was away on an extended quest with her Uncle Merlin, Aunt Sefa and Aithusa and was living with the druids to learn more of their customs and see if Camelot could be of further assistance to them. When she came back she was told he was very nearly about to be taken by an incurable sickness that had never even mentioned to her about in his letters. It was too late for Merlin or Sefa to do anything by the time they arrived and she just managed to say she loved him and kiss him goodbye before he was gone. Now one week and one burial by the Lake of Avalon later she barely had any time to grieve before most of the council began pushing her to take over from Leon and Mithian and assume the throne to rule over Camelot and her territories.

She looked down at her attire, smoothing out her dress. She decided to wear the purple and white gown her mother wore to her coronation and, after having adjustments done, wore the red knight's cape her father wore to his coronation. She knew that she probably looked weird wearing a knight's cape but she was always different from most princesses, opting to train in combat right alongside her brother on top of sewing and etiquette lessons, fighting in battles instead of just working in the sick bay, patrolling with the other guards and knights and carrying a sword on her waist at all times except for now.

"Azalea." She heard. She turned to see Merlin walking up to her holding a sword sheathed in a sword belt.

"Uncle _**Mer**_lin, cutting it a bit fine as usually I see." She said in an admonishing tone with a hint of annoyance to the servant turned lord. Merlin smiled sadly at the way the sole heir to the throne and Arthur's legacy said his name, Azalea had no idea how much like her father she truly was and all without having ever even met him.

"Well I'm sorry my lady but I was busy getting a present for you." He said back jokingly

"As it should be clotpole, I am about to be your queen and I expect to be drowning in gifts." She replied in the same joking tone.

"Hey! Clotpole's my word."

"And it suits you all too perfectly."

_She really is so much like Arthur. _He thought

"So… what did you get me?" Merlin unsheathed the sword and Azalea recognized it immediately.

"Mordred's sword?" The sword that killed both her mother and father. The sword before looked normal enough but Merlin had put a spell on it that had morphed the sword's appearance. It was now a dark gray with black filigree on it with a silver runed hilt reading in the old religion 'the more grief one has endured the lighter and more balanced I am'. There was an enchanted black quartz stone imbedded in the hilt which detected a person's grief and translated it to strength and fortified the sword's user. Merlin had wanted some good to come from the sword Aithusa's breath forged and not just have it have the legacy of being the weapon wielded to take Arthur and Gwen's life and he knew Azalea would save the sword's reputation.

"This sword should be given a new chance. It should be used for something better than killing the Once and Future King and Queen. It cannot be destroyed so instead I want to leave it in your capable hands. Let it defend you as you lead Camelot to a new era. Protect it, control it, rewrite it's destiny." Merlin told her sagely.

"Can destiny be rewritten or is it only ever simply postponed?" Azalea asked back just as sagely as Merlin but reached for the sword nonetheless.

"All these years and I still haven't figured that one out, my dear." Merlin replied. Azalea balanced the sword a bit and gave it a few experimental twirls.

"It feels so light, almost feather weighted and almost perfectly balanced too." She commented, Merlin knew what she meant. They had both dealt with mountains of grief and the sword fit them well but even so they hadn't lost everyone yet which is why the sword didn't feel perfect to either of them… yet. Merlin watched Azalea take the sword belt and strap it around her waist before sheathing the sword.

"Your parents would be so proud of you." Merlin commented. Azalea smiled a little at that, she'd like to think that they were watching over her from Avalon with Llacheu and smiling approvingly at her. Suddenly the guards opened the oak doors as the trumpets inside sounded.

"Uncle Merlin, would you care to escort me to the throne?" She asked.

"It isn't exactly traditional, is it?" He said but offered his elbow smiling.

"My mother was born a servant, my father knighted commoners and my aunt was a lady by day and a crazy, dark priestess by night. Suffice to say tradition and I tried it on for a while… we decided to see other people." Azalea joked walking gracefully down the aisle on Merlin's arm who had his hair longer and hanging in his eyes slightly and about two weeks worth of beard. People were a bit confused at her being escorted and the sword and the cape but really it was just the beginning of a reign that might leave some in the dust with its progression and Azalea had no time to talk layman's terms with the stragglers. She would make sure she didn't become a puppet Queen for those in the council who never liked her mother assuming power and spoke out against Azalea herself being rightful and sole heir to the throne.

As they reached the front of the aisle, Merlin left the future Queen's side and went to stand next to Sefa as Azalea knelt down on the pillow like she had practiced countless times with her Aunt Mithian and Aunt Elena. She looked up at her Uncle Leon and winked, she had requested he officiate the coronation for her and of course as King Regent he was qualified to do so and accepted. He had waited six years to pass the crown of Camelot off to its true owner. After Gwen died he thought it would be Llacheu but in the back of his mind something always told him Azalea was meant for great things and he knew she would prolong the prosperity of Camelot to the likes of which her father would've had he lived. Leon took the crown off the pillow his eldest son, Leon Jr, held and hovered it over to the side of Azalea.

"Will you solemnly promise and swear to govern the peoples of Camelot according to their respective laws and customs?" Leon enunciated

"I solemnly swear so to do." Azalea answered confidently.

"Will you, to your power, cause law and justice, in mercy, to be executed in all your judgements?"

"I will." She said firmly with a clear promise in her voice, she wouldn't be anything like her grandfather and renege on her vows she'd uphold them as her mother did and enforce them as her father.

"Then with the sacred laws vested in me it is with great honor that I crown you Azalea Ygraine Pendragon, Queen of Camelot." Leon said with clear joy in his voice. Azalea held her breath as the crown was lifted above her and brought ever closer to her head before it was final placed and nestled on her head, she breathed again when she realized it fit her perfectly. Leon held out his hands to help her up which she accepted and turned to face the crowd.

"Long live the Queen!" Percival shouted out and the room picked up the cry immediately.

Azalea didn't look anywhere but at her family, she felt her uncle Leon squeezing her hand still and looked to her Aunt Mithian who had tears of joy in her eyes as the younger two children of she and Leon beamed at Azalea. Her Aunt Elena and Uncle Percival looked at her with pride and smiled broadly as they continued the chant and their nine year old daughter looked at Azalea in awe. She looked to her Aunt Sefa who nodded at her in approval and smiled at Azalea and her Uncle Merlin who stared at her and through her but he did so with a wide idiotic grin on his face. She knew he was seeing three coronations at once: her father's, her mother's and hers. She smiled broadly at the people crowding the fronts rows of the room, they weren't her blood family but they were her family nonetheless.

Azalea wondered if they were still watching from Avalon, if her family could see and if they knew her plans for the future.

_I'm so happy for you, love. _Azalea heard a voice say in her head and she didn't have to ask she knew who it was.

_I'm going to make you proud, Father._

_I'm already so proud of you, I know you'll do great things._

Azalea felt something warm press against her cheek, like a kiss from a ghost and then the warmth was abruptly gone and she was standing in front of the still chanting crowd. She looked over Merlin who was a cross between shocked and happy and knew that the exchange between she and her father was real and she knew she'd be alright. She'd rule Camelot justly until the day it was time for her to be with the rest of her family once more.

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